Moving to oahu hawaii?

My husband, 2 year old boy and I are moving to oahu because I got a good job offer. We should be able to afford 2500 – 3000/mo for rent, are very into outdoors life and ocean sports, kayak, snorkel, scuba. I was thinking kailua looked like a good area but worried about a commute to Aiea on H3, is this a bad/crowded commute? Any other areas that you could recommend that are family oriented (not city like)?